The more they stay the same, right? Today was a hard day. I've been having periods of residual swelling from the surgery and the fact that I still have the hematoma makes the swelling all the more uncomfortable and incapacitating. This morning found me swollen once again with quite a bit of pain pushing on the right side. I don't know if the -3 degree weather (with -30 windchill) made a difference, but I don't think it helped.
So the goal for today, keep the spirits up and the swelling down. Some days it's harder than others, but I try to always remember that I am one of the lucky ones. I have amazing friends and amazing family.
Love and Hope,
Margaret
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Not so inspired by the "aspiration"
Hi All,
Today was the day for my much anticipated aspiration of hematoma! (I have NO idea if that is the correct vocabulary, but it's working for me). :)
I have been very uncomfortable with a hematoma that formed a week or so after surgery in my right breast, it runs along the bottom inscision line and is pushing fairly hard against the skin (i.e., its all swollen and gross)
After chipping 1/2 inch of ice off of my car this morning (THAT felt great on my recovering breasts), I headed over to pickup my good friend Tracy (thanks Trace!) and away we went to Mercy Mammography.
They did another ultrasound and could see the hematoma running almost the length of the breast....it was very interesting to watch it on the screen, of course it looked GIGANTIC to me!
The radiologist came in and said that she could probably get enough out to send to pathology to test for infection, but it was "honeycombed" so she wouldn't be able to drain the entire thing. This apparently meant that the blood had started to clot and was not all liquid and removable anymore.
She numbed the area with a small shot (felt like a mosquito bite) and inserted what was basically a straw attached to a needle. I could see this enter the hematoma on the screen....she also tried to "break up" some of the clots, which I gotta say, made me a little queasy as I watched!
So what did she get out? Not much. Enough to test, but that's about it. On the good side, though, she did say that it didn't appear to have any infection.
Soooo.....now what?
Now, I get to wait for it to resolve on it's own, which is a real bummer, because the pressure is more than a little bothersome! But, like i told the doc....this was not the worst news I had gotten about my right breast in the last month! :)
In the meantime, I will be checking with the cancer center here in Des Moines to see if they have a Genetic Oncologist who can perhaps get me in faster than UAMS. Onwards and upwards!
Love and hope,
Margaret
Today was the day for my much anticipated aspiration of hematoma! (I have NO idea if that is the correct vocabulary, but it's working for me). :)
I have been very uncomfortable with a hematoma that formed a week or so after surgery in my right breast, it runs along the bottom inscision line and is pushing fairly hard against the skin (i.e., its all swollen and gross)
After chipping 1/2 inch of ice off of my car this morning (THAT felt great on my recovering breasts), I headed over to pickup my good friend Tracy (thanks Trace!) and away we went to Mercy Mammography.
They did another ultrasound and could see the hematoma running almost the length of the breast....it was very interesting to watch it on the screen, of course it looked GIGANTIC to me!
The radiologist came in and said that she could probably get enough out to send to pathology to test for infection, but it was "honeycombed" so she wouldn't be able to drain the entire thing. This apparently meant that the blood had started to clot and was not all liquid and removable anymore.
She numbed the area with a small shot (felt like a mosquito bite) and inserted what was basically a straw attached to a needle. I could see this enter the hematoma on the screen....she also tried to "break up" some of the clots, which I gotta say, made me a little queasy as I watched!
So what did she get out? Not much. Enough to test, but that's about it. On the good side, though, she did say that it didn't appear to have any infection.
Soooo.....now what?
Now, I get to wait for it to resolve on it's own, which is a real bummer, because the pressure is more than a little bothersome! But, like i told the doc....this was not the worst news I had gotten about my right breast in the last month! :)
In the meantime, I will be checking with the cancer center here in Des Moines to see if they have a Genetic Oncologist who can perhaps get me in faster than UAMS. Onwards and upwards!
Love and hope,
Margaret
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Yet another new experience!
I went to the plastic surgeon today as my hematoma seemed to be growing. Acting on some good advice from my friend Annette on "Breast Health Online" (GREAT website, btw) I paged the doc last night and he had me come in this morning.
Of course I woke up to blowing snow and horrible traffic! I was scheduled to arrive at 8:15 and left my house at 7:45.....Des Moines is NOT big, but I got there at about 9:00......ahhhhhh winter....
So he took a look and was not overly concerned, but I will be having a procedure done to remove some of the built up fluid (blood).
So my new experience will be checking into the the Mammography center early next week to have them "needle aspirate" my hematoma. Basically, numb it, stick a needle in and suck out the fluid. Fingers crossed (yet again) that all goes as smoothly as the doc thinks it will and I can keep on healing!!
Love and hope,
Margaret
Of course I woke up to blowing snow and horrible traffic! I was scheduled to arrive at 8:15 and left my house at 7:45.....Des Moines is NOT big, but I got there at about 9:00......ahhhhhh winter....
So he took a look and was not overly concerned, but I will be having a procedure done to remove some of the built up fluid (blood).
So my new experience will be checking into the the Mammography center early next week to have them "needle aspirate" my hematoma. Basically, numb it, stick a needle in and suck out the fluid. Fingers crossed (yet again) that all goes as smoothly as the doc thinks it will and I can keep on healing!!
Love and hope,
Margaret
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Harry and the Horrible Hematoma
Ok, so it's not really "Harry", but it sounds so much better than "Margaret and the Horrible Hematoma" and I thought I could capitalize on the Harry Potter popularity! :)
So, as of today, I'm back in Des Moines. Crossed fingers didn't prevail this time and I couldn't get into the Genetic Oncologist this week.
I arrived this afternoon to snow on the ground and a hairy, hairy puppy dog who was very happy to see her mama again. (I had been without her for a month).
This is my first night sans Mom since November 6th, and even as a 36-year-old who has lived away from home for almost 20 years, I have to say, I was a little "clutchy" leaving her. Do we have those ties to the womb our entire lives? It appears so. But I digress....
The Hematoma. (insert dramatic theme music here) So I have developed a hematoma in my right breast. It started to develop a couple of weeks after the surgery. I had the oncologist do an ultrasound last week and she said it was about the size of a silver dollar. She said it should resolve on its own....HOWEVER....it appears to be growing. Luckily, I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon on Thursday, so I can hopefully get this resolved and continue healing. I've made a deal with myself to get healed up before trying to figure out where I go from here.
In the meantime, I'm going to sunggle with my pup and try to get this apartment heated up! Brrr!
Love and Hope,
Margaret
So, as of today, I'm back in Des Moines. Crossed fingers didn't prevail this time and I couldn't get into the Genetic Oncologist this week.
I arrived this afternoon to snow on the ground and a hairy, hairy puppy dog who was very happy to see her mama again. (I had been without her for a month).
This is my first night sans Mom since November 6th, and even as a 36-year-old who has lived away from home for almost 20 years, I have to say, I was a little "clutchy" leaving her. Do we have those ties to the womb our entire lives? It appears so. But I digress....
The Hematoma. (insert dramatic theme music here) So I have developed a hematoma in my right breast. It started to develop a couple of weeks after the surgery. I had the oncologist do an ultrasound last week and she said it was about the size of a silver dollar. She said it should resolve on its own....HOWEVER....it appears to be growing. Luckily, I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon on Thursday, so I can hopefully get this resolved and continue healing. I've made a deal with myself to get healed up before trying to figure out where I go from here.
In the meantime, I'm going to sunggle with my pup and try to get this apartment heated up! Brrr!
Love and Hope,
Margaret
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Hi Ho Hi Ho, it's off to the Oncologist I go!
First, I apologize for the delay in posting. Mom and I flew into Little Rock on Friday. Appointments were not scheduled until Tuesday and Wednesday, so it was nice to have time to enjoy my parents, sisters, nieces and nephew and not think about what the next Dr. was going to say!!
I've also been taking some time to really recover from the breast reduction surgery, getting lots of rest and healing well!
So, my official diagnosis: Lobular Carcinoma in Situ. What does that mean? Excellent question! In a nutshell, it is more of a marker for the development of invasive breast cancer. All things considered, one of the better diagnosis I could have gotten. On the down side, it is widespread in my right breast, which makes my risk greater than some. I do have it in both breasts, but it appears to be focal in the left.
Yesterday: Dr. appointment was with a surgical oncologist at UAMS (University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences) in Little Rock. This lady was great! She was very detailed and had a wonderful manner about her....mom and I were both impressed! Like the Dr. in Des Moines (who was a dud, by the way), she laid out the 3 treatment scenarios:
1. Careful monitoring. This means in a high risk clinic with 2 mammograms and possibly MRIs a year. The downside of this for me is that when a person has a breast reduction, it makes the mammograms and MRIs less reliable.
2. Taking Tamoxifen or similar estrogen blocker. This would slow down the growth of the cancer cells, thereby (in theory) reducing my chances of developing invasive cancer. There are associated side effects and potential for uterine and ovarian cancer with this medication. The recommendation would be to combine 1 & 2.
3. Prophylactic Mastectomy. Removal of the breast tissue, obviously greatly reduces the chance of developing breast cancer. The fact that I'm so young, (yes really!) makes this a more appealing option as I could potentially have invasive cancer "hanging over my head" for many years. As I get older, the risk increases.
So where am I now? Well, the good news is that I have time. This is not an "emergency" situation. Today I saw a medical oncologist at UAMS (also fabulous) who was real big on genetic testing. This would be testing for the most commong genes that are associated with breast cancer. The current wait time for the testing here is over 6 months!! But, awesome doctor du jour is trying to get me in NEXT WEEK! Fingers crossed. Once my breasts have had more healing time ( 3 months) I'll have an MRI so we can get a better look at things. In the meantime, I will be doing lots of research!!
Thank you all for the good thoughts and prayers.
Happy Thanksgiving to all -- hug those that you love :)
Love and hope,
Margaret
I've also been taking some time to really recover from the breast reduction surgery, getting lots of rest and healing well!
So, my official diagnosis: Lobular Carcinoma in Situ. What does that mean? Excellent question! In a nutshell, it is more of a marker for the development of invasive breast cancer. All things considered, one of the better diagnosis I could have gotten. On the down side, it is widespread in my right breast, which makes my risk greater than some. I do have it in both breasts, but it appears to be focal in the left.
Yesterday: Dr. appointment was with a surgical oncologist at UAMS (University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences) in Little Rock. This lady was great! She was very detailed and had a wonderful manner about her....mom and I were both impressed! Like the Dr. in Des Moines (who was a dud, by the way), she laid out the 3 treatment scenarios:
1. Careful monitoring. This means in a high risk clinic with 2 mammograms and possibly MRIs a year. The downside of this for me is that when a person has a breast reduction, it makes the mammograms and MRIs less reliable.
2. Taking Tamoxifen or similar estrogen blocker. This would slow down the growth of the cancer cells, thereby (in theory) reducing my chances of developing invasive cancer. There are associated side effects and potential for uterine and ovarian cancer with this medication. The recommendation would be to combine 1 & 2.
3. Prophylactic Mastectomy. Removal of the breast tissue, obviously greatly reduces the chance of developing breast cancer. The fact that I'm so young, (yes really!) makes this a more appealing option as I could potentially have invasive cancer "hanging over my head" for many years. As I get older, the risk increases.
So where am I now? Well, the good news is that I have time. This is not an "emergency" situation. Today I saw a medical oncologist at UAMS (also fabulous) who was real big on genetic testing. This would be testing for the most commong genes that are associated with breast cancer. The current wait time for the testing here is over 6 months!! But, awesome doctor du jour is trying to get me in NEXT WEEK! Fingers crossed. Once my breasts have had more healing time ( 3 months) I'll have an MRI so we can get a better look at things. In the meantime, I will be doing lots of research!!
Thank you all for the good thoughts and prayers.
Happy Thanksgiving to all -- hug those that you love :)
Love and hope,
Margaret
Monday, November 17, 2008
"PRE" is a good, good, good ,good word!!!
Just a quick note, because I'm crashing into an emotional hangover! The Oncologist has said that my daignosis is "Lobular Carcinoma in Situ" and is a PRE-Cancer!!! Much better than originally thought. Will still have to have some form of treatment and watch closely, but what good news!!!!!
Am off to take a nap now. :)
Love and hope,
Margaret
Am off to take a nap now. :)
Love and hope,
Margaret
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Dr. B
So today I find myself thinking WAY too much about what tomorrow's meeting with the Oncologist will bring, so I've decided to blog a little to get my mind off it. I thought I'd tell a little story about my Plastic Surgeon, "Dr. B".
First let me say that Dr. B is a Jewish New Yorker who was raised in Miami and fits that profile in every stereotypical sense! He has a bit of a sway, a bit of a swagger, a bit of moxie and LOADS of charisma. He's also an exceptional plastic surgeon and it was very easy for me to select him to do my reduction. I've heard him referred to as "The Boob Man of the Midwest" many a time.
On the day of my surgery, Dr. B was "marking me up" for surgery. (a process that took 30 minuts and resulted with my chest looking like something from Rand McNally)! Somehow we got to talking about professional dress and how it had changed over they years, etc, etc. He then told me about his "leather pant phase" that went on for 3 months. He wore leather pants every single day. Now this guy is about 60 and has been in practice for over 30 years, so I asked, I thought reasonably: "Oh, that was in the 80's, huh?". "Oh no! He says, it was 2 -3 years ago". Before I could wrap my head around that one, he then went on to tell mother and I that when his wife was pregnant (5 years ago), he gained a lot of weight and took to wearing his wife's MATERNITY JEANS! "They were great," he said, "except kind of a pain when you had to use the bathroom."
Yep, this is the man that I let carve on my chest while under anesthesia!
Good thing brilliance can manifest itself in very different ways! :)
Love and hope,
Margaret
First let me say that Dr. B is a Jewish New Yorker who was raised in Miami and fits that profile in every stereotypical sense! He has a bit of a sway, a bit of a swagger, a bit of moxie and LOADS of charisma. He's also an exceptional plastic surgeon and it was very easy for me to select him to do my reduction. I've heard him referred to as "The Boob Man of the Midwest" many a time.
On the day of my surgery, Dr. B was "marking me up" for surgery. (a process that took 30 minuts and resulted with my chest looking like something from Rand McNally)! Somehow we got to talking about professional dress and how it had changed over they years, etc, etc. He then told me about his "leather pant phase" that went on for 3 months. He wore leather pants every single day. Now this guy is about 60 and has been in practice for over 30 years, so I asked, I thought reasonably: "Oh, that was in the 80's, huh?". "Oh no! He says, it was 2 -3 years ago". Before I could wrap my head around that one, he then went on to tell mother and I that when his wife was pregnant (5 years ago), he gained a lot of weight and took to wearing his wife's MATERNITY JEANS! "They were great," he said, "except kind of a pain when you had to use the bathroom."
Yep, this is the man that I let carve on my chest while under anesthesia!
Good thing brilliance can manifest itself in very different ways! :)
Love and hope,
Margaret
Friday, November 14, 2008
Daddy arrives in Iowa!
So my dad is here now, arrived about 3:00 this afternoon. Due to the small size of my apartment, we have moved over into a cozy suite at the Sheraton in West Des Moines....it almost feels like a vacation!
With Dad, came what I'm going to call "The Cancer Book". It is a book that has been put together specific to my diagnosis, it has the path report and all sorts of articles and journals and information about it. This was put together for me by my sister's WONDERFUL Mother-in-Law, Jan, to whom I am so grateful!!! After reading some tonight, I feel SO MUCH BETTER about things! Although I still have many questions for the Oncologist, it is looking like the situation is much better than we could have hoped. Apparently, sometimes people call this a "zero" stage cancer and sometimes, it's not referred to as "cancer" AT ALL!!
I know that the diagnosis is serious regardless, but I can't help but feel a little breathing room at the moment!
As I'm still recovering from the reduction surgery, I'm planning to spend a relaxed weekend with my folks getting ready for the appointment on Monday.
Good day today! God Bless!
Love and hope,
Margaret
p.s. Special "shout out" to Sara, Susan and Lee for the tear spilling laughter today!!! xoxo
With Dad, came what I'm going to call "The Cancer Book". It is a book that has been put together specific to my diagnosis, it has the path report and all sorts of articles and journals and information about it. This was put together for me by my sister's WONDERFUL Mother-in-Law, Jan, to whom I am so grateful!!! After reading some tonight, I feel SO MUCH BETTER about things! Although I still have many questions for the Oncologist, it is looking like the situation is much better than we could have hoped. Apparently, sometimes people call this a "zero" stage cancer and sometimes, it's not referred to as "cancer" AT ALL!!
I know that the diagnosis is serious regardless, but I can't help but feel a little breathing room at the moment!
As I'm still recovering from the reduction surgery, I'm planning to spend a relaxed weekend with my folks getting ready for the appointment on Monday.
Good day today! God Bless!
Love and hope,
Margaret
p.s. Special "shout out" to Sara, Susan and Lee for the tear spilling laughter today!!! xoxo
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I beg your pardon?
For the last few months I have been anxiously awaiting a breast reduction....having lumbered through the last few years of my life with perilously pendulous breasts, the thought of "high and mighty" or "perky" boobs was the stuff of daydreams. This past spring I finally decided to start documenting the problems that my breasts were causing me, in hopes of securing insurance coverage for a lift and reduction.
Imagine my delight, when on August 28th, I met with my plastic surgeon and was told (after a series of most revealing and somewhat embarrasing photographs) that I was the perfect candidate! "Textbook!", he said, "You'll do beautifully!"
(Of course he says this as he's holding my breast out of my armpit as I lay in the supine position) Ahhhhh......the joys of the intimacy of plastic surgery! He promised that after the surgery, that breast would stand at attention on its own and I was sold, sold, sold!
Anyone who remotely knows me, knows that from August 28th it was "breasts on the mind!" (Is this what it's like inside a man's brain ALL THE TIME?!?)
Finally, I got my surgery date....November 7th, 2008! Hurrah! I read the books, I found the blogs and discovered the most incredible online support system....I was READY TO GO!
Barring minor unforseen complications, I arrived at the surgery center at 9am on November 7th with my mother in tow. She had graciously massaged lavender oil into my feet and hair the night before and I'm CONVINCED that this is why I was as cool as a cucumber and my blood pressure was a lazy 102/65...:)
As doc marked me up for surgery we learned that it would take about 5 hours (yikes!) Not fun for mom, but really no problem for me....anesthesia is a good thing!
The surgery went off without a hitch, I "did beautifully" and everything was "textbook". After spending an uneventful night in the hospital, my BEAUTIFUL new rack and I headed for home.
After several days of changing drains (so yuck), changing dressings and Ohhhhing and Ahhhing over my spectacular perkiness, it was time for my post surgical visit with the surgeon.
We arrived at doc's office at 11:30. We waited briefly and were then shown into the examination room. The nurse took a look at the drains (that I was LONGING to lose) and said she'd have to check with the doc before she "pulled" them. No sweat...I was getting those drains out buhleeve me!
It's hard to imagine how quickly a life can change. The minute that doctor opened the door, mine would never be the same.
Imagine my delight, when on August 28th, I met with my plastic surgeon and was told (after a series of most revealing and somewhat embarrasing photographs) that I was the perfect candidate! "Textbook!", he said, "You'll do beautifully!"
(Of course he says this as he's holding my breast out of my armpit as I lay in the supine position) Ahhhhh......the joys of the intimacy of plastic surgery! He promised that after the surgery, that breast would stand at attention on its own and I was sold, sold, sold!
Anyone who remotely knows me, knows that from August 28th it was "breasts on the mind!" (Is this what it's like inside a man's brain ALL THE TIME?!?)
Finally, I got my surgery date....November 7th, 2008! Hurrah! I read the books, I found the blogs and discovered the most incredible online support system....I was READY TO GO!
Barring minor unforseen complications, I arrived at the surgery center at 9am on November 7th with my mother in tow. She had graciously massaged lavender oil into my feet and hair the night before and I'm CONVINCED that this is why I was as cool as a cucumber and my blood pressure was a lazy 102/65...:)
As doc marked me up for surgery we learned that it would take about 5 hours (yikes!) Not fun for mom, but really no problem for me....anesthesia is a good thing!
The surgery went off without a hitch, I "did beautifully" and everything was "textbook". After spending an uneventful night in the hospital, my BEAUTIFUL new rack and I headed for home.
After several days of changing drains (so yuck), changing dressings and Ohhhhing and Ahhhing over my spectacular perkiness, it was time for my post surgical visit with the surgeon.
We arrived at doc's office at 11:30. We waited briefly and were then shown into the examination room. The nurse took a look at the drains (that I was LONGING to lose) and said she'd have to check with the doc before she "pulled" them. No sweat...I was getting those drains out buhleeve me!
It's hard to imagine how quickly a life can change. The minute that doctor opened the door, mine would never be the same.
I'll be honest with you, it's kind of a blur now....I just know he said "I have good news and bad news" and then it felt like YEARS before he actually spit it out. Breast Cancer, both breasts.
I remember hearing words like "oncologist" and "masectomy", I wanted to talk to my dad and my sisters....I wanted to be anywhere but right where I was right then. But (thank God) my mom was there and through all the muddle I could hear her saying "it's going to be alright, we're going to make this alright..." and I began to believe her.
The doctor would later say that the surgery "saved my life." The cancer was too microscopic to see on my mammogram and would have unlikely been detected any other way.
So here I am, a couple of days and ALOT of emotions later. I see an Oncologist on Monday, my dad arrives tomorrow. I'm trying to do some research and at the same time trying not too do too MUCH research. I'm trying to "be in the moment."
There is one thing that I will never doubt...the love and strength of those around me. It's an amazing gift to have a life so full of special people.
Amd so my journey begins...I intend to take this walk with lots of laughter, love and joy. I'm viewing this as a miracle discovery. I realize every day won't be easy, but I intend to come out of this a stronger, better person.
Pardon me if I've rambled....it does take such a long time to "set a stage".
Love and hope,
Margaret
...and so the journey begins
Yesterday, November 12, 2008 I was informed that I have Breast Cancer. I'm assuming that as time passes, the shock will begin to wear off and reality will set in. This blog is a way to chronical my journey, and hopefully provide help, information or peace for anyone who reads it.
...so, to begin at the beginning....
...so, to begin at the beginning....
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