I beg your pardon?

For the last few months I have been anxiously awaiting a breast reduction....having lumbered through the last few years of my life with perilously pendulous breasts, the thought of "high and mighty" or "perky" boobs was the stuff of daydreams. This past spring I finally decided to start documenting the problems that my breasts were causing me, in hopes of securing insurance coverage for a lift and reduction.


Imagine my delight, when on August 28th, I met with my plastic surgeon and was told (after a series of most revealing and somewhat embarrasing photographs) that I was the perfect candidate! "Textbook!", he said, "You'll do beautifully!"


(Of course he says this as he's holding my breast out of my armpit as I lay in the supine position) Ahhhhh......the joys of the intimacy of plastic surgery! He promised that after the surgery, that breast would stand at attention on its own and I was sold, sold, sold!

Anyone who remotely knows me, knows that from August 28th it was "breasts on the mind!" (Is this what it's like inside a man's brain ALL THE TIME?!?)

Finally, I got my surgery date....November 7th, 2008! Hurrah! I read the books, I found the blogs and discovered the most incredible online support system....I was READY TO GO!

Barring minor unforseen complications, I arrived at the surgery center at 9am on November 7th with my mother in tow. She had graciously massaged lavender oil into my feet and hair the night before and I'm CONVINCED that this is why I was as cool as a cucumber and my blood pressure was a lazy 102/65...:)

As doc marked me up for surgery we learned that it would take about 5 hours (yikes!) Not fun for mom, but really no problem for me....anesthesia is a good thing!

The surgery went off without a hitch, I "did beautifully" and everything was "textbook". After spending an uneventful night in the hospital, my BEAUTIFUL new rack and I headed for home.

After several days of changing drains (so yuck), changing dressings and Ohhhhing and Ahhhing over my spectacular perkiness, it was time for my post surgical visit with the surgeon.

We arrived at doc's office at 11:30. We waited briefly and were then shown into the examination room. The nurse took a look at the drains (that I was LONGING to lose) and said she'd have to check with the doc before she "pulled" them. No sweat...I was getting those drains out buhleeve me!

It's hard to imagine how quickly a life can change. The minute that doctor opened the door, mine would never be the same.

I'll be honest with you, it's kind of a blur now....I just know he said "I have good news and bad news" and then it felt like YEARS before he actually spit it out. Breast Cancer, both breasts.

I remember hearing words like "oncologist" and "masectomy", I wanted to talk to my dad and my sisters....I wanted to be anywhere but right where I was right then. But (thank God) my mom was there and through all the muddle I could hear her saying "it's going to be alright, we're going to make this alright..." and I began to believe her.

The doctor would later say that the surgery "saved my life." The cancer was too microscopic to see on my mammogram and would have unlikely been detected any other way.

So here I am, a couple of days and ALOT of emotions later. I see an Oncologist on Monday, my dad arrives tomorrow. I'm trying to do some research and at the same time trying not too do too MUCH research. I'm trying to "be in the moment."

There is one thing that I will never doubt...the love and strength of those around me. It's an amazing gift to have a life so full of special people.

Amd so my journey begins...I intend to take this walk with lots of laughter, love and joy. I'm viewing this as a miracle discovery. I realize every day won't be easy, but I intend to come out of this a stronger, better person.

Pardon me if I've rambled....it does take such a long time to "set a stage".

Love and hope,

Margaret